Act of Bravery

It is the moment of truth, i took a very risky decision when i told my bestfriend about my secret, its been more than a year that we've known each other, but now everything has been revealed. It happened three days ago, i went to the office to sort out my last pay, it was dark already when i got there and since i am there already, i asked my bestfriend-officemate to meet me up before he start his shift in our favorite hangout area near the building of my previous work, so i texted him right away and he replied to me that he is on his way, i am very excited to see him again that i almost wet my pants, because its been a while since the last time we see each other, after a few minutes of waiting while listening to some music on my mp3 player, i saw him from a distance, he saw me and im waiting for him to give me his big smile that could launch a thousand skidmarks on my pants but he didnt, on the other hand we did our usual knuckle to knuckle hello and we sit comfortably, the wind is chilling at that time and we decided to order a coffee-all-you-can in a nearby coffee shop, trying to catch up what we missed, we discussed a lot of things like common friends, work and about his recent problem with his family, he is very upset and he wants to tell me about it before, but he couldnt because i wasnt around anymore and that makes him more upset too, i told him that he shouldnt and i am just a phone away if needs someone to talk to, he agreed on that, i tried to make him laugh and luckily i didnt fail, i missed the way he laugh and his smiling face, i gave him some words of comfort and some advices too as a good friend would do. After a few laughs he asked me what will i do this weekend, because he feels like not going home soon after work and he wants to unwind and go somewhere, i reminded him about my friends' overnight swimming party in laguna that i told him before, then with a begging puppy like face, he asked me if he can join around and promised me that he will not be a nuisance, i told him that i just cant bring him along without asking permission, its not my birthday and its invitational and without him knowing the crowd is totally different...i really want him to come, but the consequence is on me. I could read on his face that he already noticed that im hiding something from him because im telling a lot of different reasons, i really hate myself when telling a lie, im really obvious! So i decided to press the help button, i texted the celebrant, which is one of my bestfriend too, i asked what should i do, what else should i say, should i bring him along? then quickly i got a reply that really hit me, he told me its up to me if i want to bring him and tell him the truth, its the only way to find out who are your true friends by accepting who you are...this is it, i said to myself, its been a more than a year, i know him so much and i have a big feeling that he will accept me...First i told him that he can join the swimming party and he is very happy to hear that, and then i told him that he may find hisself out of place because of the crowd that will be there, he asked me why, whats in our group and what is it that he needs to know, I told him that it is very difficult for me to explain, so i asked him if he is an open minded person, i asked him if he is not judgemental and he said "Yes, Im not!" , he cant wait for me to answer his questions because i couldnt find the right words to say so he asked me "does your group worship aliens? is it a cult? tell me now come on, trust me" ...i couldnt open my mouth and i just keep on smiling while looking at him, since that we only have a few minutes because he needs to go to work, i grabbed some air and asked him to walk outside and i will answer all his questions...as soon as we started walking outside, he asked me "Are you all (bleep) in your group? or is it just them? or youre one of them?" ...I stopped walking and moved a few inches away from him, i smiled and said the biggest revelation to my bestfriend, the answer that he's waiting for, the three letter word that changed everything, the secret that i've been hiding from him...and that answer is "YES" ...He smiled and wrapped his arm on my neck and said "its ok...im still your friend and i accept you for who you are" ...but i removed his arm from my shoulder and said " please dont touch me, i feel embarassed because i hide this from you for a long time and you might think i harrassed you in some way before..." i just dont know what the fuck i am saying at that moment...until he placed his arm again on my neck and said "you asked me if im judgemental and now youre the one whos judging me...its ok, stop putting words in my mouth" then i said sorry and explained to him that it is very a risky decision, i told him that i also got scared that he might not like it and stop being friends with me anymore and i dont want to lose him, but good thing that didnt happen. We continued our walk and told him more about me, he even admit to me that he noticed something different about my actions or body movements sometimes but he just ignore it, i told him about the group, i told him about my close friends that he already met and i gave him some details about the swimming party, i asked him if he still wants to come after i told him my secret and he said yes without a single hesitation. We reached the main entrance of the building and told him that i'll just pick him up from the office after his work and go together to the swimming party, i asked him not to tell anyone about my secret and he promised he wont. When we parted my heart is pumping on excitement and couldnt wait to tell my friends about what happened, i have teary eyes when i got inside the cab because of happiness...The following day i picked him up as i promised, we had a short rest at my friends place and went to laguna in the afternoon, he's kinda shocked when he saw my fellow groupmates, i introduced him to some of them and we really enjoyed our time swimming, dancing, singing, chatting and we also had a lot of booze and brandy. We were a bit drink when morning arrived, some of us went to bed and some are just chatting to each other while drinking coffee, then i saw my friend alone in the pool, i approached him and we stayed on the corner of the pool, i told him, "now you know my secret, i probably cant touch you anymore because you might give it a meaning" he look at me and pointed something behind me using his mouth, when i looked what he is pointing i just felt a knuckle hit over my head, it really hurts..."youre being judgemental again, i told you its ok" he said...then he moved near me and asked if i can give him a hand massage, while holding his hand and pulling his thick fingers, i asked him, "now you know what my group is like, now you know what i like...what if i told you that...in some way...ahhhmmm... i like you?" he kept silent for a few sec and then he smiled and said "that i cannot answer" there was silence for a few seconds again because i also dont know what else to say, then he stand up and told me he wants to go to sit somewhere and rest, he asked me to buy cigarettes and i did, but when i went back i already found him snoring on the bed sleeping...I couldnt stop myself thanking him for accepting me and honestly until now i cant get over on what happened, its like a dream come true. Now i have nothing to hide from him, now i can be myself when im with him. That night is not just a night of revelation for me, but also a night of bravery, a night where i found a real friend indeed, its a story of my life worth remembering.